Just one of those random fics
by Squirrelgurl
Summary: “NO SATOSHI! THE LIGHT’S RED! THE LIGHT IS RED!” “Looks green to me.” “AHH WATCH OUT FOR THE…” THUMP! “Little…old…lady…nevermind.” Yeah...it's really that random. From Kingdom Hearts, to FullMetal Alchemist. It's here, and it's frightening.
1. Default Chapter

Me: Welcome…to my hellhole… Uh did I say hellhole? I MEANT STORY! Yes…. Story…

SFCP: Right…. Anyway this is a joint story! Well…kinda…. Anyway…. This is a random story about random anime pesples being tortured randomly….

Me: But not gory… because this is a PG-13 story… :Silence: AH HELL! … Who am I trying to kid? Ya there will be some violence in this! I mean come on? IT'S ME!

SFCP: We own absolutely none of the anime characters that we happen to put in this story… NONE AT ALL! If you sue us…we **will** hunt you down…

Me: Speak for yourself! I own them all! MUHAHAHA!

SFCP: No you don't!

Me: Well who they gonna believe you or me?

………………….

SFCP: Well your just crazy so anyone who believes you has to be COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY insane…

Me: Good point…

SFCP: Lets begin shall we?

Me: Why yes!

**Just one of those random fics…**

**Chapter One: DN Angel…WATCH OUT!**

Daisuke slowly and carefully turned the corner of the street. 'Must be careful…I just know that today is gonna be one of those days! So I must be really really really care….'

"Whatcha doin Dai-chan?" Daisuke spun around quickly holding his brief case up to defend himself.

"I didn't do it! Dark? Who is this Dark you speak of! I'm not the phantom thief! Why who's asking? MY MOTHER MADE ME WEAR THIS TIE!" He cried throwing his hands over his head and ducking down into the fetal position.

"Jeez Dai…. Relax…. Its just me!" Daisuke raised his head slowly only to find himself staring at Dark.

"DARK? What the hell are you doing out of my body!" Dark shrugged.

"I really don't know why I'm out…ask the author…"

(Booming voice from the heavens) "AUTHORESS!"

Dark rolled his eyes. "Whatever!" Daisuke looked up at the sky.

"Umm…miss authoress? Why is Dark out of my body?"

(Again with the booming voice from heaven) "Because this is a random story…so random things happen…that being only one! In other words JUST ACCEPT IT!"

Daisuke thought for a moment before smiling. "Okay!"

"So what do we do now?" Asked Dark scratching his head.

Daisuke smiled and grabbed Dark's arm. "COME ON! Let's go to school!"

Dark's eyes narrowed. "Is this in my contract?"

"Do I care?"

"Probably not…"

"Then come on!" Said Daisuke dragging a groaning Dark to school.

Once at the school Dark found himself sitting in a desk beside Daisuke. The teacher at the front of the room smiled brightly before slamming a helmet on her head and taking out a long sticky thingy.

"Alright soldiers…. Today is going to be a 10-min school day…why? Because the almighty Authoress wants it to be. And to take up that 10 min time span we will be having a tornado drill." Dark looked over at his younger counterpart and cocked an eyebrow.

_What's with the nutcase?_ He thought to no one in particular.

_I know she can be such a freak…_ Thought Daisuke back. Then it hit them. By some miracle of god…er…I mean the authoress… it dawned on them that they still had they're physic connection!

_Well I guess this is a good thing…_ thought dark as he stared at 'Sargent teacher' who was now demonstrating the proper way to exit the room during an emergency. Finally returning to her desk the teacher glare at her students.

"Class…now that five minuets of your time is done and there is only five minuets left it is time for the tornado drill." As if on cue (which it probably was considering the Almighty-Ness of the authoress…Cough cough…me…) the tornado warning system went off.

"OKAY CLASS MOVE OUT AND STAY QUIET!" Reluctantly the class silently filed out of the classroom and into the hall. Pretty soon the whole school was crouched against the walls with their hands on their hands. And of course…with Dark having his short attention span and all… he got board.

"So…Why are we doing this again?" He asked glancing at Daisuke. The teacher looked horrified.

"YOU FOOL! YOU'VE GIVEN AWAY OUR POSITION! EVERY PERSON FOR THEMSELVES! THE TORNADO KNOWS WHERE WE ARE!" She cried dashing out of the school. All the students' sweat dropped and left as school was dismissed for the day.

Daisuke looked around franticly for Dark but couldn't see him anywhere.

"DARK! Oh DAARRRKKK! Now where the hell did he get too?" He thought scratching the top of his head.

"Dark! Where are you…Dark…wh…AHH!" Daisuke jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with everyone's favourite homicidal blonde…CLOUD STRIFE!

(Noises from above) Me: "SEPHIROTH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? Hey…are you typing my story!"

Sephy: "Uhh…"

Me: "CLOUD IS NOT IN THIS SO GET YOUR OBSESSIVE ASS OUTTA MY CHAIR!"

Sephy: "Uh…heh heh…I'll be going now…"

(Noises stop…and story continues)

Well Daisuke did see a homicidal blonde…just not Cloud Strife.

"K-Krad! (Gulp) what are you doing here?" Daisuke stuttered backing away from the ice demon. Krad smirked grabbing Daisuke and pinning him against the wall.

"I've come to torture and kill you of course!" He said gently placing a hand on Daisuke's throat. Daisuke cried out as an unpleasant pressure found its way to his neck.

"W-why isn't Satoshi T-taking over!" He choked trying to pry off Krad's hand. The demon smirked.

"That's because Satoshi is no longer a part of my body…That and the fact that Dark and Satoshi left for ice cream like 10 minutes ago."

"And they didn't invite me? Frankly I'm offended!"

"Well you wont before long…because now Wing master…You die…" Krad tightened his grip restricting Daisuke's air passages.

"Um…are we interrupting something?" Krad spun around to see Dark and Satoshi with four cones of ice cream. His eyes narrowed.

"Yes…as a matter of fact…YOU ARE!" Dark looked at Krad…then Satoshi…then Daisuke who was still pinned against the wall mouthing 'Help me!'

"Krad! Have you been trying to kill Daisuke again?" Said Dark tapping his foot.

Krad swore under his breath. "CURSES! Foiled again…but I will be back for you wing master…beware…" And with that Krad took off into the sky.

"KRAD! WAIT! YOU FORGOT YOUR ICE CREAM!" Satoshi yelled at the retreating figure. Krad spun around, grabbed his ice cream, threw one more glare at Daisuke and flew away into the night.

"Its night time already?" Daisuke asked scratching his head.

"I wouldn't question the mighty authoress if I were you…she's all powerful…she can kill you in some of the most gruesome ways, and bring you back just so she can kill you again! So if the mighty authoress wants it to be night…THEN LET THERE BE NIGHT!" Satoshi was being dramatic again.

"Uh…right…whatever you say Satoshi…whatever you say…" Said Daisuke finishing off his ice cream.

Dark narrowed his eyes. "That isn't the real Satoshi…"

**Chapter terminated! **

Me: Dun dun DUN! Who could this impostor be? Does Dark have an ice cream fetish? Will the tornado drills take over the world? Will Krad ever kill Daisuke? Find out next time on Dragon ball Z!

Sulphurwolf: (smacks Sg)

Me: Ouch! Sorry… I meant in the next chapter of this really really random story!

Sw: Better…

Me: Hey! Where did SFCP get to?

Sw: Uhh…(Shifts eyes)

Me: Well I hope that she wasn't tied up and thrown into a closet with a hoard of fuzzy moogles by one of her best friends…

Sw: Ya…me too…

(In a closet somewhere)

SFCP: SULPHURWOLF!

Moogle: Let's get her kupo!

SFCP: No…Stay away…No…NOOOOO!

A/N: Anyway…I know that it was short but it's just a start! Tell me if you like it! Flames are welcome! It started snowing again and we need something to warm us up! Thank you! Have a nice life!

Ttyl,

Squirrelgurl


	2. Random uh ness ensues!

Me: Well I know its been a while but I have Valid reasons as I don't really have a life… 

Sw: Excuse #1…

Me: SHUT IT! Anyways that and the fact that I had exams.

SFCP: Excuse #2.

Me: SILENCE! Oh…and I baby sit every day from 8 to 6.

Sw: #3.

Me: WATEVER!

SFCP: Then stop giving excuses and start damn it!

Me: FINE I WILL!

Sw: THEN GET GOING AND DO THE DISCLAIMER!

Me: NO!

SFCP: Twitches And why the hell not?

Me: smiling sweetly Cause Sesshy-kun said he'd do it!

Sesshoumaru: Call me that again and I will mutilate you with a butter knife.

Me: still smiling Okely Dokely!

All: twitch

Me: glares JUST DO THE F#KING DISCLAIMER!

Sesshoumaru: Ok. And in the meantime hows about you pull that stick outta your butt!

Me: narrows eyes in warning Sesshoumaru….

Sesshoumaru: Rolls eyes look she doesn't own anything all right? And believe me…she has nothing good to sue for anyways…

Me: HEY!

**Chapter two: RANDOM…uh…ness ensues! **

"That's not Satoshi…"

"Huh? Dark what are you talking about! Of course its Satoshi!" Daisuke said taking a bite of his ice cream.

"NO! Its not Satoshi…its…THE DANISH MAN!" Dark pointed and accusing finger at the bluenette. (Haha! I said Bluenette!) Daisuke blinked.

"Um…the Danish man?"

"Ya! The Danish man!"

"…"

"The man of Danishes?"

"Sorry Dark…still drawing a blank here…"

"Oh come on! You know the Danish man…the one who lives on Dreary lane!"

Daisuke shook his head. "No Dark…that's the muffin man…and the boy over there is Satoshi…I think …yes…definitely Satoshi…unless…he couldn't be…but still…hmm…." Now both boys were in suspicion of their blue haired chum. (HAHAHA! I SAID CHUM!)

Satoshi sweat-dropped. "Um…maybe I should go now…" Dark narrowed his eyes.

"WHY? SO YOU CAN TERRORIZE THE WORLD WITH MUFFINY GOODNESS! I THINK NOT!" And with that Dark and Daisuke threw the other boy into the janitors closet and locked the door.

"That'll teach that Danish…"

"Muffin!"

"Er…Muffin man a thing or two!" He said and was about to laugh maniacally when Daisuke clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Don't do the 'Muhahaha' thing…"

"And why not?"

"Cause its stupid."

"Oh. So what do we do now?"

"…."

"…."

"Um…wanna get a pizza?"

(((At the Pizza shop)))

"Wow this is great pizza!" Exclaimed Daisuke shoving a huge piece in his mouth.

"Ya! Pineapple and caramel sauce…my favourite!" Dark said digging in as well. The happy pair were interrupted when Satoshi angrily marched through the door.

"I AM NOT THE GAWD DAMNED MUFFIN MAN!" He screamed smacking Dark upside the head.

"Of course your not! I was just messing with you and Daisuke!" Chirped Dark before he shoved another piece of pizza in his mouth. Both boys glared at him.

"You know what this means right?" Asked Satoshi in a deadly tone.

"Uh…heh heh…no…"

"IT MEANS SLEEPOVER TIME!" Cried Daisuke cheerfully. The two other boys stared at him blankly.

"Huh? Run that by me again?"

"A SLEEP OVER DARK! OoOoO! And we can invite Krad too!"

"Um…but didn't Krad try to kill you this morning?"

"Yaaa….so?"

"Just never mind."

"TO MY HOUSE!"

"Wait don't I need pj's or something?"

"No worries Satoshi! I have tons of extras! Lets find Krad!"

((( With Krad)))

Krad sat on the bench reading Charles Dickens Oliver twist. Upon finishing he closed the cover and smiled. "What a delightful ending!" He said cheerily.

"Um…Krad?" The blonde spun around and came face to face with his tamer.

"Uh…DELIGHTFUL FOR SOME…BUT HORRIBLE FOR ME! DIE BOOK DIE!" He screamed conjuring a fireball and burning up the book. The three boys in front of him sweatdropped at his maniacal laughter.

"Oh ya! KRAD LETS GO WE'VE GOT TO HURRY OR WE'LL BE LATE!" Cried Daisuke grabbing Krad and pulling him away from theflaming piece of literature.

"Late for what?"

"THE SLEEP OVER!"

"You have got to be kidding me…"

End ChapTeR 

Me: Oh my! A sleepover? How will Krad react? And what happens when Emiko and Daisuke's grandpa go out for the night? Will truth or dare prevail? Is Uranus really a planet? Why am I asking all of these annoying questions? Only time will tell.


	3. Party Games and a storm

Disclaimer: I own nothing. And its shiny!

Chapter 3: Party games and a storm

Before they even knew what was happening Dark, Krad and Satoshi found themselves in Daisuke's house already in their pyjamas.

"Woah. How the hell did that happen so fast?" Dark asked wide-eyed.

"Plot device my dear phantom thief…plot device." Daisuke said with a smile.

"Oh and are the fuzzy animal slippers a plot device too?" Satoshi said glaring at the offending shoes on his feet.

"You betcha!"

Krad snorted in disbelief "Ya right…Plot device my butt."

_In a physically and scientifically impossible phenomenon the ceiling clouds over and a mighty voice booms from the heavens_

"DO NOT QUESTION THE PLOT DEVICES OF THE MIGHTY AUTHORESS!"

_The mighty voice retreats taking the magical ceiling clouds with it_

All four boys stared up in awe.

"Wow…that was…interesting." Dark mumbled quietly. The others nodded in agreement. And after a few minutes of pointless silence that was mostly procrastination on the authoress' part Daisuke spoke up.

"So…who wants snacks?"

In the kitchen 

"Mom! Mom where are you! We want food! MOM! Huh…guess she went out." Daisuke said thoughtfully.

"Ya think?" Dark muttered jabbing a thumb in the direction of a 2 foot by 2 foot sign on the fridge that said: Daisuke, we've gone out for the evening. See you around noon tomorrow. Chow! Love, mom, dad and grandpa

"Wow…thanks for pointing that out Dark! I totally missed it!" Daisuke said sincerely.

Satoshi blinked. "You are being sarcastic right?"

"Whats Sar…cas…tic?" The red head asked sounding out the word as if it were foreign to him.

Krad glared at the boy before sighing. "Never mind...I doubt your brain would even be able to comprehend something as artistic and complex as sarcasim." Daisuke blinked.

"Right...anyways…who wants to play 'strip I never'?" he said cheerfully.

"Whats 'strip I never' and why do I have a sinking suspicion that I am going to suck at it?" Krad asked nervously.

"You'll see! But first we have to put some more clothes on!" Daisuke said cheerfully. He received a few sceptical looks but when no one objected he dashed into the hallway screaming… "TO THE BEDROOM!"

Three minutes and five layers later the four boys found themselves sitting in a circle on the living room floor. Satoshi wearing only his pyjamas and his socks.

"Um…Satoshi? You might wanna put some more clothes on…"

"I'm good."

"But…"

"I said I'm good."

"Ok then…whatever you say…"

"So…" Began Dark with a questioning gaze, "how do you play this game of yours?"

"Well…you always start your turn with I've never…and then you say something that you've never done…like, I've never burned a book and then if anyone else has ever burned a book before they have to take off an article of clothing understand?" Daisuke said smiling.

"Uh…no…but let's start anyways."

And so it began. And twenty minutes later they found themselves like this:

Krad, starch naked huddled in the corner cursing to himself. (He was right…he sucked at this game…BIG time…he some how had managed to lose all his clothes in the first three minutes…)

Dark in his boxers (Oh ya. He sucked too. Just not as bad.)

Daisuke with his one sock and his boxers on (Uh…not as bad as the other two)

And last but not least Satoshi…missing one sock. (Damn he's good at this.)

"No worries Satoshi…we will get you undressed…one way or another…" Dark said evilly. Then he stopped and blinked. "That sounded really dirty and wrong didn't it."

"Yep." Daisuke said sweat dropping.

"Ya…well…you will still lose Satoshi!"

Thirty seconds later 

"Okay so he won…big deal." Dark had joined Krad sulking in the corner...naked.

It was a show down between Daisuke (clad only in boxers) and Satoshi (missing a sock) a battle of wits, talent, and determination. All of which Daisuke swept aside with one mighty blow.

"Um…I surrender?" And then it was over. The game had ended. Dark and Krad had lost everything…Daisuke still had his dignity…and Satoshi put his sock back on.

"What do you guys say to getting dressed and starting up a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare?"

"I guess…but can we get dressed first?"

Ten minutes later the four boys found them selves once again sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room.

"Is it just me…or have we been through this already…" Krad stated looking around nervously. Daisuke just smiled.

"So…I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that everyone knows how to play Truth or dare…so lets begin." Daisuke said with a smile. A smile that told everyone else that they were doomed. "And naturally, since I'm the host…I get to go first!" Everyone sighed. As always…every game had its catch.

Krad growled. "JUST START THE GAME!"

"Alright, alright…jeez…don't get you panties in a twist…Krad truth or dare!"

Krad looked at the boy a little sceptically before answering. "Truth."

"Have you ever been to the Eiffel tower?" Daisuke said with a big smile. Everyone face faulted. Daisuke looked at the three boys on the floor innocently. "What?"

"THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST PATHETIC TRUTH EVER!" Krad yelled angrily. "I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ANSWER THAT! THINK OF A BETTER ONE!"

Daisuke flinched. "Fine. Hmm…a good truth… whats a good truth…I know! Krad…is Uranus really a planet?" Krad glared at Daisuke before turning to Dark and Satoshi.

"I think this game was dead before it even started." The others nodded and went to stand up when the clapping of thunder and a flash of lighting drew their attention.

"Dude. I think it might be raining…I hope the lights don't …" Dark was interrupted when the room became pitch dark. "…black…out…DAMN IT."

Satoshi looked to what he assumed was the younger red head. "Daisuke do you have a flash light somewhere?" Daisuke thought…and thought…and thought…and sang like a monkey…ok maybe he didn't sing like a monkey but he thought…and then he answered.

"Yep." He said with a smile. Krad twitched slightly.

"And where are they?" Daisuke was about to answer when a crash echoed through the house. All four boys freaked, Daisuke fell backwards and Krad screamed like a girl. After a moment of listening they let out a deep breath, Dark laughing quietly at Krad's OOC antics and Daisuke clutching to Satoshi for dear life.

"What was that?" The red head whispered quietly.

"A crash?" Dark asked sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it like that! I meant what made the crash!"

"Something upstairs obviously…" Satoshi said dismissivly, trying his best to hide his fear and keep up with his 'tough guy' façade. Daisuke gulped.

"So what do we do?"

Krad, who had recovered from his little (ahem) moment, jabbed a thumb towards the stairs. "We grab a flashlight and go check it out that's what!" Dark smirked picking up a flashlight that magically appeared on the coffee table and handed it to the blonde sociopath.

"Okay then mister 'I'm so brave but I scream like an eight year old school girl' here's a flash light…and since its your idea why don't you lead the way." Krad gulped taking the flashlight and moving to the edge of the stairs, the other three boys in tow. They all snuck to the bottom of the staircase and slowly looked up. There was another crash and a random bouncy ball bounced down the stairs. The boys froze.

"Guys…there's something in the house…" Satoshi whispered hoarsly.

A/N: DUN DUN…DUUUUNNN!


	4. Adventure for crackers

Me: HELLO MY FANS! I will be writing this chapter with the ingenious help of my cousins John and David.

John: Yesss….You shall all perish…I mean…Enjoy the story… right….

David: (Smacks John) VIVA LA QUEEN!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NOOOTTTHHHIIINNNGGG!

"Guys…there's something up stairs…" Satoshi said hoarsely.

"M-maybe it's just m-my mom…." Daisuke said, clutching to Satoshi's sleeve for dear life.

"She said she wasn't coming home until noon tomorrow remember?" Dark said looking up the stairs.

"Well…could it be Wiz?" Satoshi asked, turning to the red head that was currently attached to his sleeve.

"Come to think of it I haven't seen Wiz at all…I wonder where…"

"KYUUUUUUU!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Krad squealed yet again as he spun around and came face to face with the white fuzzy creature in question.

"Wiz!" Daisuke grinned widely scooping up his funny little…uh…rabbit…type…thing and cuddling it affectionately.

Krad panted heavily clutching his chest before glaring at Wiz. "I will have my revenge…I hope you know that…"

"Kyu!" Wiz said with a happy look on his face. Dark sweat dropped.

"Okkayy…so if it isn't Daisuke's mom…and it isn't Wiz…then who's upstairs?" He asked turning his gaze back to the darkness above them. Squinting his eyes he gasped. "NO FREAKING WAY!"

"What is it Dark? Did Risa stalk you home again?" Daisuke asked looking at his counterpart with concern.

"No…Its worse…much worse…"

Turning the four boys found themselves staring at the vengeful winds…of a mini tornado!

"HOW THE HELL DID THAT GET IN HERE?" Satoshi yelled pointing an accusing finger at said natural disaster.

Just as the question left his mouth Daisuke's teacher randomly ran up to them. "See! I TOLD YOU THAT THE TORNADO KNEW WHERE YOU WERE! NEVER QUESTION THE ALL MIGHTY TEACHER! MUHAHAHAHAHA!" She pulled out a jetpack and rocketed through the roof, flying into the night air, cackling madly.

"Um…right…" Krad turned to the three other boys. "Crackers anyone?"

Dark blinked. "Um…what about the tornado?"

"Ya…we should probably escape to somewhere safe…" Daisuke said clutching Wiz tightly to his chest.

"Kyuu!" The white creature said in agreement.

"But I want crackers…" Krad said with an adorable and incredibly OOC puppy dog pout.

"Why don't we run and hide at my mansion…then we can have crackers…" Satoshi said patting the homicidal blonde on the head.

"Okay…I guess…"

"RIGHT THEN!" Daisuke said bringing the three other boys into a huddle. "Now here's the plan…"

Five minutes later

"BONZAI!"

Daisuke pushed the button on the tornado trap causing a bag that was full of five hundred bouncy balls to crash onto the tornado, effectively burying it. Unfortunately the bouncy balls also crushed Riku and Risa, Kairi from Kingdom Hearts and that really annoying princess chick from Prince of Persia: sands of time. Why? Creative licence…

"QUICK! TO THE BATMOBILE!"

The four boys, plus Wiz, dashed out of the room and out into the garage, which had mysteriously changed into the bat cave.

Batman and Robin stared blankly at the strange people in front of them from where they sat in the bat mobile.

"Is that a Rabbit?" Robin said motioning to Wiz. Batman completely and totally ignored him.

"Who the hell are you guys?" The dark avenger asked, pointing an accusing finger at the teens in question.

Krad grinned. "Don't worry boys…leave this to me…"

FIVE MINUTES OF EXPLICIT VIOLENCE LATER

Daisuke poked the twitching forms of Robin and Batman with a stick.

"Wow Krad…" Dark said patting said blonde on the back appreciatively. "After the whole screaming like a little girl incident I didn't think you had it in you…"

"Never get in the way of a man and his crackers…" Krad smiled nodding his head.

"Get in." Satoshi said, pulling up in the bat mobile. Daisuke looked shocked.

"Satoshi! You can drive?"

"No…but can you?"

"No…"

"Exactly…"

"HUH?"

"Just get in the car."

The four boys sped off, seatbelts on, praying that they would survive the night.

"NO SATOSHI! THE LIGHT'S RED! THE LIGHT IS RED!"

"Looks green to me."

"AHH WATCH OUT FOR THE…" THUMP! "Little…old…lady…never-mind."

"SATOSHI WHERE ARE YOU GOING? THIS ISNT THE ROAD! FOR CHRISTS SAKE WE'RE DRIVING IN A FREAKING CORN FIELD!"

"Its all the same to me!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! PLEASE LORD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS! I'M COMING FOR YOU OLD YELLER!"

"Um…Krad?"

"ITS GETTING DARK…I CAN'T SEE! OH LORDY THIS IS THE END! I JUST KNOW IT!"

"…Krad?"

"NO! OH GOD NO! I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE! TAKE THE CHILDREN!"

"Krad! We're here!" Satoshi said putting the vehicle into park.

"Did you just call me a child?" Daisuke asked opening the door and getting out.

"We're…here?" Krad said blinking. " I mean yes…of course we're here…I knew that…ahem…yeah…"

Dark just shook his head. "Whatever you say Krad…whatever you say…"

The boys got out of the car and headed into the giant mansion.

"Wow! Do you actually live here Satoshi?" Daisuke said in amazement.

"Yes…With my father…" Satoshi said, unlocking the door and ushering the group of teens into the house.

"Will your dad care that you have a bunch of guys staying in your house?" Dark asked, looking around at the paintings in awe.

"Don't worry about it…" Satoshi said walking down the hall, the other boys close in tow.

They passed a giant fish tank with all kinds of strange and exotic fish.

A tiger pit.

A dungeon.

A weapons room.

A torture chamber.

A kitchen (surprise surprise)

A snake pit.

A room with a bunch of hunting dogs.

And…a hair and nail salon?

"Um Satoshi…" Daisuke said pointing towards said room. "Why do you have a…"

"NO REASON! KEEP MOVING!" The others sweat dropped and followed the frantic man away from the salon.

As they were about to turn a corner a deep male voice came from behind them.

"Hello Satoshi."

"AIIIIEEE!" Krad squealed…yet again…this time actually jumping into Dark's arms.

"Hello father…" Satoshi said, glaring at the black haired man with glasses.

"Who, may I ask, are these lovely people you have with you?" The man asked, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"My slaves."

Daisuke tried desperately to hold back the now twitching Dark and Krad as they yelled things along the lines of 'death to Satoshi' and 'kill the traitor'.

Satoshi's dad smiled and ruffled his son's hair. "Good boy. Now scurry off to your room, I've got work to do."

"Yes father…" Satoshi said turning and making his way up the stairs. "Come slaves!"

Krad and Dark glared at the blue haired boy before making their way up the stairs behind him.

Once in Satoshi's room the three other boys gasped.

"Wow…this is YOUR room?"

The room was like a house on its own, complete with living room, kitchen and a swimming pool with matching Jacuzzi.

"Yes, it's a bit smaller than my old one but I manage…"

Krad's gaze fell on the kitchen counter…where he spotted his one true love…

"CRACKERS!" Launching at the box he was stopped in mid jump as a shadow swooped down, and swiped his precious away.

"NOOO MY CRACKERS! WHO DARE'S DEFY ME MY SALTY CRACKERY GOODNESS?"

Looking up the four boys…and wiz…found themselves staring at a strange…er...boy…with long green hair dressed in a skintight tank top and a miniskirt…(Envy: IT'S A SKORT!)

"Hi!" The boys said munching on one of the crackers. "My names Envy and I do believe that you…" He pointed at Dark. "Have something that I require.


	5. Finny Fun

**Last time: On Dragon Ball Z!**

**Daisuke dropped to his knees, face cradled in his hands. "How could she find out my secret!" He cried, tilting his eyes to the ceiling and raising his arms to the skies. "Why! No one was supposed to know about the women's underwear…no one was supposed to know…" **

**Daisuke: HOLD IT!  
SG: …What? **

**Daisuke: What the hell do you think you're trying to pull? **

**SG: Why, whatever do you mean? **

**Daisuke: SG, none of that actually happened last chapter…at all. **

**SG: Really? **

**Daisuke: Uh huh. **

**SG: Huh…oh well. It's been a while, gimme a break. **

**Dark: Speaking of which, why did it take you so damned long to look at this again anyways? What's it been…two years? **

**SG: Hey, I was just…giving the story a dramatic pause…**

**Dark: Uh huh. You forgot about us didn't you.**

**SG: Nooooo….**

**Jman: Uh, yeah she did. **

**Dark: Ha! I knew I-…wait, who are you? **

**Jman: Who me? I'm SG's cousin, the one who REMINDED HER about this story. Because, you know, she had completely FORGOTTEN IT. **

**Dark: I should have known. **

**SG: …Uhhhhhhh, to the Batmobile! AWAYYYY! **

**Disclaimer: I really don't own it…any of it. I'm poor, honest. **

**Chapter 5: Some Not so Finny Fun**

"My names Envy and I do believe that you…" He pointed at Dark. "Have something that I require."

"Oh, you mean this?" Dark replied, pulling a bottle out of his pocket.

"Yeah! Give it to me or die!"

"Wait, Dark… what? What is that?" Daisuke asked.

"It's tornado repellant," he replied. "It's in high demand. It's tornado season, in case you haven't noticed."

"Actually, I hadn't…"

He was interrupted by a shout from Envy. "Surrender or girly-man over there gets his intestines ripped out."

A high-pitched yell came from Krad…again. Satoshi rolled his eyes, turning to his dark half with his arms crossed. "Man, grows some balls already will you!" He exclaimed, huffing a bit as he shook his head. "Jeeze, how come Daisuke gets someone as cool and mysterious as Dark, while I'm stuck with some girly man like you."

"I am not a girly man! And I am sooo much cooler than Dark." Krad protested, regaining some of his prior manliness as he stuck his chest out.

"Oh yeah, and that's why the transvestite has your crackers, and you're just standing there whimpering like a little girl." Satoshi snorted, turning back to the others with a small sigh.

"I'll show you! I'll show you all!" Krad jumped up, his fists clenching as he turned to Envy. "No one takes my crackers and lives to tell the tale!!" The blonde dropped down low, his hands drawing together in a parody of a very well known…and somewhat cliché action. "Ka…."

A collective gasp was heard from the rest of the room as they began to realize just what it was Krad was trying to do. Daisuke rushed forward, Wiz on his shoulders. "No Krad, don't! You can't!"

"Maiiii…."

"How is this even possible! I thought that the Dragon Ball Z references would stay in the authors notes where they belong! This can't be happening!"

"Haaaaaaa…."

"Oh shit, he's really doing it! Krad wait! Stop!"

"Maiiiiiiiiii….."

"Krad, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Krad's entire body tensed, his blonde hair flying wildly and energy pulsing from his every pore as he shoved his hands and…nothing happened.

The entire room was silent, Krad's frame frozen completely as he stood there, his hands still extended, a pained expression on his features. After a moment, Daisuke ventured a chance to speak. "Uh, is that it?"

Krad slowly straightened, his face deadly calm. "Yeah, that's about it."

"Oh." Daisuke licked his lip again, before scratching the back of his head. "Soo, what was the point of all that then?"

Krad slowly quirked a brow, crossing his arms over his chest in the perfect 'cool guy' image. "It helps me maintain my tough guy image."

"Oh…" Daisuke opened his mouth, and closed it again. "Just…oh…"

"I'm still here, you realise!" Envy yelled in protest.

"Who's he?" Dark asked.

Envy grabbed a fork off a conveniently placed table and threw it at Dark, but it just stuck in the air halfway.

"Wh….what?"

"Oh," said Satoshi, "that's because my house sits in an unstable part of the space-time continuum, and it can tear pretty easily. That's what the 'no sharp objects' policy is there for."

"Then why was there a fork on that conveniently placed table?" Daisuke asked.

"Plot device."

"Plot device?"

"When will you learn not to question the mighty Authoress?"

"AND AUTHOR", a voice boomed from the ceiling.

"Oh god, there are two of them now?"

"We're doomed."

"THAT'S RIGHT, NOW GET BACK TO WORK."

Dark seized the opportunity while everyone wasn't paying attention to grab the fork pull down, tearing a huge hole in the space-time continuum.

Some water started to seep through as Dark shouted, "Quick! Everybody through!" and jumped into the tear.

"Dark!!" Daisuke yelled, and jumped in after him.

"There is absolutely _no way_ I am–" Krad started, but then emitted a short scream as he was pushed in by Satoshi, who then jumped in himself.

The hole conveniently closed behind them, leaving Envy stranded in Satoshi's house.

"Well, at least I have the crackers", he said, reaching for one.

"Wait… what? Where are the crackers?" he shrieked. "Nooooooo!! GIRLY-MAN, I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

Meanwhile

Shoulder length silver hair floated up as a figure slid through the darkness and into the depths of the waters of Atlantica. Who was this traveller you ask? Who else, but a certain Riku, with a certain mission, pertaining to the certainly concerning absence of a certain bubbly brunette named Sora.

Riku was on a mission, a mission important enough to get him to come to this wet place, and important enough to subject his delicate skin to the hygenic terrors of scales.

Shuddering, the silver haired bishounen swam through the high seas, intent on finding…intent on…intent… "WHO THE FUCK IS MAKING SO MUCH DAMNED NOISE!" He stopped dead in the water, the sound of high pitched squeaking ringing through his mind and causing his ears to bleed. "Augh!" He cried, clutching the sides of his head. "It burns! It…wait…I know that voice…SORA!"

Riku took off, beelining towards where he would find the key blade weilder, only to find his entire world falling to pieces as he caught sight of the other…dancing…with the most hidieous sea squid he'd ever seen. Oh no, no wait, that was Arial. "Sora!"

The brunette stopped, turning with wide eyes to the boy behind him. "Riku! What are you doing here?!"

"Me? What are you doing here Sora! Besides cheating on me with that…that…red headed bimbo!" Riku sobbed, throwing himself down to a rock that was wedged into the sea floor with a dramatic sob.

"Don't be sad, Riku!" said Bimbo…err…Ariel. "We were just dancing, singing and having a whole bunch of finny fun!"

"Finny… fun. Finny fun. So that's what they're calling it these days," Riku sobbed. "MY LOVE WAS DESTROYED BY FINNY FUN!! Augugughhh…"

Dark, who had just flung himself into the clearing from the space time continuum (followed of course by his companions), managed to come to a stop, his wings unfurling, beside Riku in the walking. "Hey, my name's Dar—"

"Augugughhh…"

Dark slowly raised a brow at the strange bows odd cry, before motioning to his red headed light half beside him. "And this is Daisu—"

"Finny fun… finny… fun…"

Dark turned to Daisuke. "It looks like we're not gonna be able to talk to him."

"I've got an idea!" Krad said, and swam over to Ariel.

"Hey, Bimbo," he said menacingly.

"Actually, my name's Ariel, and I was just having some finny fun, so if you could wait for a minute—"

She never got any farther.

"Nice one, Krad!" said Dark.

"Does that prove my manliness?"

"No."

"Aww, come on… it was a mermaid! Those things are vicious!"

"It was completely innocent…"

"INNOCENT!?" Riku screamed from the corner.

"Well… I guess you've taken a small step on the long road to manliness."

Krad squealed, and went off to find some more mermaids to murder.

"Hey," Daisuke said, "how come we can all breathe down here?"

"My tornado repellant seems to have some breathing-in-water qualities."

"You have no clue what that actually is, do you?

"Nope."

"Well. Here we are, stuck in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by mermaids, being chased by a homicidal transvestite palm tree who is searching for a bottle of what we only know as tornado repellent and…" Daisuke paused, before turning to dark in the water, his eyes narrowing. "Wait a second, you've had that bottle this entire time have you?"

"Yeup, I've had it with me for a good few days now. Why do you ask?" Dark smiled, his eyes practically twinkling as he fluttered his eyelids.

"…Why the hell didn't you use that stuff back at the house?"

"What stuff?"

"The Tornado Repellant."

"Oh…what about it?"

"Augh! Why didn't you use it back at our house when we were attacked?"

"Attacked by what?"

"THE TORNADO!"

"Ohhhh! Well, you should have told me that we were attacked by a Tornado earlier!! I could have used this stuff to keep it away, and saved us a lot of trouble…"

Daisuke twitched, his mouth opening, before closing again as he turned to Krad and Satoshi.

"All right," said Satoshi, "our work here is done. Let's find a way out."

"Aww," said Daisuke, "I wanted to stay and sing with the mermaids…"

Dark swam up to Sora, with a frantic look in his eyes.

"WE NEED TO FIND MERLIN! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE? THEN TELL US HOW TO FIND HIM!"

"All you have to do is swim up to the surface…" Sora said, terrified, then went and hid behind Riku.

"I wonder what was wrong with him," Dark said, completely oblivious to the fact that he had just traumatized an innocent child for life. Shrugging, he turned towards the others, before motioning towards the surface and swimming away. They would find Merlin yet, oh yes they would.

Meanwhile, Riku had just noticed that Sora was using him as a hiding place. He turned, staring at the brown haired boy with still slightly hurt eyes. "Are you alright?" He asked, taking the other's hands in his own.

"I'm fine." Sora murmured, biting his lip as he looked up at Riku through thick, dark lashes. "But what about you? Are you okay?" He tilted his head, looking nervous. "I mean, I really hurt you Riku. By having finny fun. I'm sorry."

"It's…it's okay." Riku swallowed, turning his gaze to the side as he fought the tears that found his eyes once more. It took a lot to cry underwater…but this was just so heartbreaking, that the crying wouldn't stop. Finny fun was something special, and that Bimbo had almost ruined everything between him and Sora, "I just thought that I was losing you. I was scared Sora."

"Oh Riku…" Sora grabbed Riku's chin, tilting the other's face towards him with a compationate smile. "Don't you know that I would never leave you? I lo-- hey, is that a transvestite?"

Envy stumbled through the rip in the space time continuum…which had suddenly and conveniently reopened for his appearance. He looked around, completely ignoring the two staring mermen. He looked up, catching sight of feet kicking up at the surface, a smirk forming on his features. "Oh, run while you can Dark."

He chuckled, reaching down to his hip. "After all, you wont make it far. Not while I have your…Rabbit." He cackled, patting the head of a very scared looking Wiz. The little thing had been taped to Envy's hip, and the palm tree seemed oblivious to the critter's discomfort. Envy's grin widened and he turned, kicking off the ground and starting to kick towards the surface. "I will get you Dark…oh yes. I will get you….though it is rather hard to swim with this rabbit attatched to my hip. But I will still get you, I'll just get you slower. Muhahah. Muhahahaha. MuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaQ!"

Down below, Sora and Riku watched the spectacle with wide eyes. "That's fucked up man."

**TBC**

**Jman: Read and Review! **

**SG: Or just read and enjoy, that works too. **

**Jman: Uh, actually no. They have to review. **

**SG: Or what? **

**Jman: Or I'll torture Sora to death with a fork! grabs Sora and holds the fork to his throat**

**SG: Uh…Jman? **

**Jman: Yes? **

**SG: Well one, that's not Sora…that's Elton John, and two, that fork's plastic. **

**Jman: ….. Curse you corporate America! CURSE YOUUUUU!**


End file.
